I have 25 years of experience with marriage-
all 25 of those years spent with one and the same beloved husband
We are both Christians.
We have 8 children between the ages of 5-23 who are my greatest treasures. I am a stay at home mother to them. Although I homeschooled for some 5 years, 4 years ago I transitioned to sending them to school. My youngest just started kindergarten in the Fall and I also got elected to serve my community as the Town Clerk (a part time position) starting in January.
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I went though a marital/midlife/identity crisis which sent me to digging deeply into God’s Word. In so doing I realized that some teaching which passes for “biblical” is fatally flawed in a way which proves destructive and counterproductive, and serves only to undermine marriage, hurt people, and keep them captive. 
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On the occasion of my 48th birthday (Nov ‘07) the Lord gave me a special gift which touched me deeply. I realized that I have a kindred spirit, a woman who thought deeply about the same passages and books which have drawn me. She is Katharine Bushnell. Her book “God’s Word to Women”- begun in 1906 as a correspondence course- is the subject of this blog. I read some things in her book which had occurred to me but who am I? What do I know? I am now convinced that she and I and all who have ears to hear will “hear what the Spirit says to the churches“
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My name (in real life) is so unique that there is only one of me in Google. For reasons of privacy and security I have chosen a pen name. I am using the screen name “Charis” which is a greek word meaning grace, good will, thanks, benefit, favor, bounty, that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech. The source for all that is God and I hope He is working it into me as I walk hand in hand through my life with Him.
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I have another place online where I have published the Bible lessons which God has taught me: A Wife’s Submission: Lessons Learned in the Crucible of Marriage
And I also have a place where I have (with the pen name of “Gem”) collected quotes and resources which were life-giving to me and to my marriage: claymines
i am hopefull in finding you sight for godly women
at 46 baptisted very young teens i did not undrstant
the word and now im starting to im to leave my
salvation to my hubby (im the one looking for God
he born catholic seems content w/ life and on the
norm would be ok but the fact his wife lives a live
of emotion soul tourment i would have thought
even a catholic might go directly to the cross.
I pray God’s will
he knows im heard of hearing so
speak loud
love and peace
robin
Hi Robin.
Welcome.
Let me know if you have any questions, OK?
Are these so called ‘authors’ and speakers, in authority in the churches, including those women who make profit off of books who have turned Jesus into a PIMP,
are they not aware, that they are accomplices to both domestic violence and rape?
see http://news.findlaw.com/hdocs/docs/polygamy/utjeffs40506crinf.html
Its a point, that I am researching…IF they don’t want to be accountable [men and the male leaders] in many of these sects and Christian cults,
maybe, the Law will make them accountable.
But only if it is pressed, and ONLY after presenting them, with it with two and three witnesses first.
I’m working on it…
Jane
Hi Jane,
I’m not following you? If you are speaking of the book for sale link here, I make no profit from that. I am strictly a volunteer with GWTW. I consider it ministry. And Bushnell was equally concerned for oppressed and exploited women, as well as being opposed to polygamy and quite firmly seeing scripture through “anti-polygamy” lenses even in the OT.
eg. see THE FOUNDING OF A CHRISTIAN FAMILY (Concluded)
Shalom,
Charis
no,not talking about your books
talking about the Industry, eg., Southern Baptists obviously are a part of, of a sect, a very Powerful sect, that is also part of the Quiverfull movement [maybe some of the others borrowed off of that one] and other sects,
that have a echelon of people, who hold wealth and Power, that have and are now, establishing an Industry, of a type of Sharia Law but one that is titled Christian [but is really the church of Satan--a.k.a. Mollock, why the Jews no, won't have any part of, they are very well knowledgeble (sic) about Mollock and the passing 'children' through fire--
and the money they have made [esp the few authors, many of them female] from teaching a Doctrine of Demons, is blood money, to Moloch.
This industry is also Very connected with the KKK. [fact]
this is where the push for controlling women, is connected–its to push ‘white’ women, to have children, under the strict domination of abusive men–under the rule of terror, to build up the white race. It doesn’t necessarily have to be white, but the ‘core’ is in the white industry–nationalists and very misogynist,
that have an ‘appearance of godliness but they deny the power thereof’, because its not of God,
its from the very PITS OF HELL. The connections–links to
1. domestic violence [to the most severe to death]
2. marital rape with impunity
3. child rape-incest
4. murder including child abuse leading up to murder
are not only tolerated, the Industry is right now, building an environment where these things will increase with total IMPUNITY AND WITH NO ACCOUNTABILITY TO MEN, GOD OR GOVERNMENT.
AND yes, they are, because of the demonic influence behind them, connected to the very same forces behind PORN and CHILD PORN, that is why, they do not teach otherwise, why they take scriptures out of context–
its not just one or two bad individuals, no,
this is a Deliberate INDUSTRY, that professes Jesus, but that is truly, the CHURCH OF SATAN.
The abuses, are the very same abuses, that were those practiced to Moloch, the demon god.
THEY ARE IDENTICAL in fact…except, they aren’t being practiced in some pagan ritual [such as in the OT], no,
they are being practiced, with the ‘appearance of Christ’,
it is a LIE, a LIE that the true church, needs to be informed, and they need to
come out from them, be separate from them, and touch not their unclean things.
This is why, those in that Industry, those that hold power and wealth through blood money, from sacrifices of wives and children, with total impunity and Even encouragement AND doctrine training, a type of CULT–INDOCTRINATION AND BEATING DOWN OF WOMEN TO NOT QUESTION, working with those in power who are in positions of Authority, lawyers, businessmen, politicians, the elites, etc [many of whom are yes, open about their occultic practices],
are on the war path against those who are questioning, particularly those who question based on Scriptural truths. It is a threat to their power,
but I don’t know if many see, just how Satanic, these doctrines are, its not just about the misquoting or abuse of scripture by a few patriarchs, oh no,
this is deliberate, and it is EVIL TO THE CORE…PURE EVIL.
And its an EVIL, BATHED IN BLOOD OF INNOCENTS, LEADING MANY, STRAIGHT TO HELL.
no, I wasn’t in any way referring to you,
this is not just about the ‘apostate church’, in these last days, oh no,
this is, about men and women, who are agents of Lucifer himself, sacrificing women and children, especially through sexual abuse,
to Moloch. And they are making $$$$$$$ doing it.
Jane
Charis,
this should go on those last threads I commented on, IMPORTANT, got it,
why the doubt, I had, after you mentioned prophecy, because of the struggles I’ve had, the doubts [doubts that I know now are of the enemy]
immediately after writing, I started praying, because of some many things I am currently now struggling with and I did not feel worthy, to say, its from the Lord or that I have any right, to even ‘advise’ without extreme caution,
well, then it was heavy, that desire to go to the Word, I prayed, asked Jesus to show me, to give me peace, then He took me to Luke 10-11. From Luke 9 actually, 9:46-Luke 10, on who will be the greatest [the one who takes care of the small child...women, that was something spoken personally to me, in an area I've been asking about]
and then, several other things, then to Luke 10, about when you enter a house, stay there, etc., some things there Jesus spoke to me about that has happened to me of just late, and about when not received, etc., [though some of that was my own doing too, God has been working there, some deep things needing healing]
then, to Martha and Mary, another confirmation of something I’ve been seeking Jesus about, especially about wisdom and knowledge, another area where I’ve been really dealing with a lot of false guilt and condemnation [the enemy, though I didn't or wasn't for sure why],
then Jesus confirmed it, once again…in Luke 11, 11:17-23
my para, real quick, about any kingdom divided against itself will not stand, that if Satan is divided against himself, how can his kingdom stand, that spoke directly to me, to that ‘doubt’ that I have and then,
when Jesus said, “Now if I drive out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do YOUR FOLLOWERS DRIVE THEM OUT?”
speaking directly to me, that if I say, pray against Islam [demons] and if I tell you to get away from that, etc., but also to seek God’s will, that is in no way, from the enemy, though the enemy would like to cast doubt in my mind to shut me up,
and then, more on this, when Jesus speaks, and this was also an answer to me, about the whole area of ’separatism’, when it regards women, etc., some theories I’ve been pondering, some of it is true–some of it is NOT and some of it, is very dangerous, so I got some answers there,
when Jesus says, “He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me, scatters.”
I asked Jesus, about what scatters means, looked it up in dictionary [the full length of meaning], to separate, to DRIVE OFF IN VARIOUS DIRECTIONS,
I prayed and asked Jesus about this and asked if this could also mean, by teaching wrong things, in the guise of reconciliation such as what is taught about women submitting to all kinds of lusts to keep marriages, etc., but that actually leads to a scattering, of sheep?
Then He, the Holy Spirit reminded me of Jesus saying, I have not come to bring peace but a sword’,
there has to be a balance there, like, we are to reconcile, TO JESUS, FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD, because also,
in Luke 10:28, when the woman says, blessed is the mother who gave birth to you and nursed you [which btw, is that whole patriarchal women gender role worship we hear today] and Jesus answered, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and OBEY IT.”
What are the ‘end results’? is what we should ask of ourselves,
what are the fruits that will result? Are they for the obeying of the word of God by all parties involved?
Catering, pandering to only the ’sex’ needs of a husband, is NOT about wanting the Kingdom of God, its NOT about wanting your husband [or any man] to be obedient to Christ, to God, to be in the Kingdom of God, their names written in Heaven, Luke 10:20 However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice, that your names are written in heaven.
So, yes, pray against the stronghold of Islam, and porn, pray and seek God’s will, God’s will is for your husband to be SAVED, TO KNOW JESUS, but Jesus, is the one, who reveals these things to your husband, to those He chooses, where it says, Luke 10:22, “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows who the Son is except the Father, and no one knows who the Father is except the Son and those to whom the Son CHOOSES TO REVEAL HIM.
Commit your husband to Jesus, all of it, everything,
and, one more thing, a warning….a good warning, that we should all remember, I’ve been guilty of this a LOT, especially when we get angry at injustices, etc.,
it says too, in Luke 9:51-56, my para [do read the entire texts please]
where Jesus is setting out to go to Jerusalem, and he sends messengers on ahead, and they went into Samaritian village and the people there did not welcome him,
54 “When the disciples James and John saw this, they asked, [and pay attention because this is what is in our hearts, very often], “Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them? [pay very close attention to this, Jesus also shared with me that this is one of those things, warped things, some of us perceive God as being like--me one of those people],
“But Jesus turned AND REBUKED THEM, and then, they went to another village.”
That book I am reading, by Patricia Raybon, that I’ve had that book for years, but last week, God pointed it to me and I started reading and its just been so much healing for me,
I was picking it up again yesterday [and its such a good book, if you struggle with hate due to deep hurts that are long time, abuse, racism, etc, very, very good book, because it doesn't say, just not be angry and like in denial, it says, deal with the hate but also, confront injustice, but, do so, BY ATTACKING WITH LOVE,]
oh, its Such a good book and well, strongly recommend this book to any woman or man that has deep wounds from self-hate from abuse,
and self-identity issues because of abuse or racism, etc.
There is like, this really thin line, a tightrope almost, because we are not perfect, we can be tempted, why its very dangerous, for us, you know,
confront him yes, boundaries yes, but remember, attack WITH LOVE, oh that is just so important but also,
we must be very real and honest with God about our pain, hurt, and He knows, God knows more than all of us here, what adultery feels like,
and yes, God gets furious, when Israel was dancing around that calf, after Moses was on the mountain, God told Moses, leave me alone, oh, and what did Moses do,
and what is just so awesome is that, God says, when we pray, He knows what we are going to pray and Moses says to God,
but, God, remember, the covenant, etc etc etc,
and the Levites were the ones when God says, who is on my side, came to him, and they took swords and everyone in that camp–3,000 I believe, yes, Exodus 32:11-35
God doesn’t mess around, when we mess around on Him, know what I mean…
He is a jealous God, for our love, like, you know,
so, God Charis so understands what you are going through, oh He so knows,
but, we have to remember, WE’VE ALL, COMMITTED THAT ADULTERY, AGAINST GOD,
your husband, is in a very dangerous place,
and we all need to pray for him, not just, for his sake, but for the Kingdom of God,
in Turkey, so that, as Jesus says,
there is not that scattering…
ok, well,
that’s it. I am emailing this to you, just in case you don’t get it today.
Love,
Jane
“That a 246-page novel can inspire this level of passion and outrage says something about evangelicalism’s tolerance for metaphor—or the lack thereof. “Evangelicals, in general, don’t read a lot of Steinbeck,” says Paul Louis Metzger, an evangelical theologian at Portland’s Multnomah Biblical Seminary who writes about both the Trinity and evangelicalism’s relationship with mainstream culture. “We might read Christian romances. We might read C.S. Lewis. But we often have a hard time with metaphor, and I think people are stopping short and looking at this book on the most superficial level. It’s a lack of literary imagination, really. I grieve over the fact that this book seems so edgy to evangelicals, because I think God is actually even edgier than this book.”
off subject here for bit [I don't even know who the hell Driscoll is, LOL, maybe that's a good thing, missed out on so much, only know about Warren through another blog, that was Enough]
anyway, going to have to get this book now, lol, read the review [on the link], I LOVE STEINBECK, read Grapes of Wrath, oh wow, and Mice and Men,
and I love metaphor, do they forget? Jesus spoke in parables? !!!!!!!
Wow, so now have a book to get now, and I have been reading the lessons here, going to get Bushnell now too, been taking notes. I’d like to get some bio on her life if its been written, sure something is out there.
Anyway, I wonder if The Shack is kind of like the Monkey Wrench Gang, did you know, they banned that book [and a few others] and even now,
that is considered a dangerous ‘anti-gov’ book, its a tad radical,
but anyway, this book, caught my eye. Have you read it? What did you think of it?
Jane
“The Shack”?
Yes, I’ve read it.
I liked it. I think it strikes a chord.
Course, one must read it as fiction, like CS Lewis’ “Aslan” is fiction.
Nevertheless, it conveys powerful truth about intimacy with God and His love for us.
I’m looking for a copy of Lewis’s “Screwtape Letters”, used to have it, long ago. Its a hard one to find,
I read most of Narnia, liked the movies too, except you can tell the difference, how they changed a few things,
but I saw Lewis’s Narnia, probably due to the state of mind I was in then, more in relation, to symbolism and metaphor, to the era then [WWII] and fascism and totalitarianism,
which, now I’m reading this book on the ancient civilization Mesopotamia, quite interesting,
and read the letters between Darius and Alexander the Great, funny how they both thought they were ‘gods’, I find the parallels between politics and the spiritual war, more similar, in so many ways.
The ‘White Witch’ in Narnia, realizing most equate her with the devil, I saw her more as the symbolism in the Wardrobe as Hitler,
but in Prince Caspian, more as the dangerous allied treaty between Churchill and Stalin, in fighting Hitler, when she tells Peter, that they need a force capable and strong to destroy the kingdom of Caspian I believe…[been a while since reading the book],
well, if you look at fighting evil, how often are we tempted, to join forces, with forces that are ungodly, to fight off an even more fierce ungodly enemy,
which, happened even in the OT, Babylon taking Jerusalem captive yet,
Persia rising up against Babylon. All however from that same region, even similar beliefs of god-goddess worship, who through history, were diabolically opposed to Israel and to God.
The saying the personal is political and vice versa, is so true,
but what is even more true, is just how spiritual, the personal is political and vice versa, both personally,
and that of, spiritual warfare.
One is representative of the other in the spiritual realm, as well as it effects us in the physical-carnal world, to our very most selves, and how we perceive things, through lens,
when I think about just how history, how God reveals Himself yet at the same time,
reading ancient history, just how not that different they were then, to how we are today, same issues, same wars for power, same ‘ego’ and ‘those despots who think they are gods and blessed by gods’,
and even trade, how its all interdependent, and then how we all fit into that,
as believers of Jesus, in the world but not of the world. Even more fascinating to sit and think,
is, what it must have been for Jesus, to actually live in human form and walk among men and women, how it must have been, for Him,
though its difficult to actually know and see from His eyes because He is without Sin and is our creator, still, just thinking about it,
I often wonder, what He thought….or if He walked among us today, like He did then, especially if He went into our churches, our nation,
would He overthrow the money tables? I think He would, and I think He’d do a whole lot more,
who would He rebuke today? And, if I saw Him, how would I react?
When thinking, seriously thinking on these things, though yes knowing the Word of God, I still can’t help but be amazed, at all of it, but more than amazed,
I think, humbled…..
it puts so much into different perspective, that’s for sure.
Jane
Hi
I just wanted to say I thought you were the only person who treated me as an equal and show me respect.
I justed wanted to say thanks. ..you have my email if you wish to talk further.
Anon.
You are welcome, anon.
I have made progress not seeing everything through the hurt. Keep in mind that wounded people sometimes see things through some very painful experiences and they might sound harsh when something you say hits a nerve. Likewise, some things they say may be hitting a nerve with you. I know my husband used to hear ANY disagreement with him as “disrespect” and her would get “defensive” which involved character assassination and put downs of his perceived “opponent”.
The fact is disagreements and conflict are part of life. Brushing them under the rug is unhealthy. As you noted elsewhere, it is NOT inherently abusive to disagree. People should be free to disagree without fear of character assassination. However, sometimes its a process learning to disagree agreeably
– a process involving some trial and error
I agree.
And at the heart of someone percieving “opponents” is someone with very low selfworth. I spent many years in that place myself.
I would need to “win” because everything felt personal and I was ashamed at feeling everyone hated me or was in on the “character assissination”.
I, like you, have made progress.
I used to think that his “superiority complex” masked low self esteem, and I told him that on several occasions. One time, in a moment of transparency, he laughed and said “I don’t suffer from low self esteem. If anything, my self esteem is too high. My problem is pride”.
Perhaps I was projecting when I suggested he had low self esteem? After all, my self esteem was in the toilet. God has healed me.
I think your husband was in denial (no offence).
There are not many people living in this world at the moment that have real selfworth in my opinion.
I would also say that someone who is unable to receive criticism or disagreement with being defensive is definately suffering from low selfworth…what ever they tell themselves.
Part of the problem I think is that not everyone is able understand what you are talking about.
My life had to become pretty painful before I was ready to listen to others.
You are probably right about the denial. He was really torn down a LOT in his childhood and replacing the mental wallpaper takes time and effort: Washing out the criticism of the earthly father and replacing it with the Words of Heavenly Father (click here)
I think I need to be real honest and say that what was done to me, on another site, was spiteful and is definately not christian.
Its one thing to delete a comment if that comment has gone too far or is obviously just vulgar, it is another to delete a person no matter what they say good or bad…out of bloody mindedness. That justs personal for the sake of it.
It does not feel very nice to be on the end of that kind of public shaming and telling off by someone who will deliberately prevent you from repsonding or defending yourself.
I myself do not see how that can not be classed as abusive and I do not have any respect for that person now nor the values that are claimed by its owner.
Is this not an example f something being swept under the table?
Ironically I have to be willing to forgive and accept that someone must have been treated that way first for them now to be treating others in the someway.
Of course its always been much more popular to point out the faults of others than work on one’s self.
I will not be offended if you do not publish this comment since it probably does not belong here but I am grateful for the opportunity to defend myself.
Anon.
I thought it might be helpful to you if I went ahead and published it, anon.
I think your reactions/responses reminded the blog owner of a past poster who was very abusive. I’ve had that happen to me before online.
That you feel publically shamed by being unable to defend yourself, I wonder if it is recalling something old? When someone online pushes my buttons, I pray that GOD will show me why I have the buttons and help me to heal. Even IF they are sinning against me, it can be turned around to LIFE for both of us.
Thanks for publising the post. it is definately appreciated.
I was refering to the big announcement as the public shaming. That is not nice to do to anyone really.
Of course anyone that blames others for their pain will naturallly try to control those others as a way of controlling their own pain.
And blame is a very subtle foe indeed and very hard to rid oneself of.
And yes, I still have baggage of my own aswell. I would not be human if I did’t and it is a continual proccess of looking at myself and asking God for help year in, year out!
I think I am not ready to pray for the sin in question just yet as I am upset…but no doubt in a day or two I will since my peace of mind is more important to me than some silly argument with someone I dont even know.
Anon.
Being able to introspect, own your own baggage, and continually seek God for growth and insight is HUGE, anon. I commend you! Keep up the good work!
Charis and friends,
Just wanted you to know, our beautiful baby Charlotte went home with the Lord last Wed. night while we were rocking her and singing “I will dwell in the secret place of the Lord most High” to her. She was thirteen days young.
She had some problems they could not help her with, and we didn’t know how long she had but we spent every visit in joy and with a peace that passeth all understanding.
This was our scripture that night:
“Master, where dwellest thou? He saith unto them, Come and see.”
The Lord said to Charlotte, ‘Come and see’, and he took her home. I know I will see her again some day, but I miss her terribly. God is comforting me thru the saints and my family and most of all his word.
My sister just returned from Burma and Thailand, where the little children are sold by their parents into prostitution for opium money. The mission buys the children for the price of a pair of shoes, or, gets them any way they can. These precious ones are then taught that Jesus loves them, and God miraculously heals them from the abuse and they are praising Him in worship and song.
I just wanted Jane to hear this wonderful news, and it helped to give me perspective. God is good, and he can heal the deepest wounds.
Dear momgodin,
I have been praying for you and your family. Thank you for the update. I am so thankful that you got to say goodbye to your precious wee Charlotte!
May the Lord comfort your hearts!
(((((Hugs)))))
Much Love, Charis
(((((momgodin)))))
(((((((hugs)))))))
Prayers and tears with you…