LESSON 39.
MUST WOMEN OBEY?
300. The word “obedience,” hupakoe, is quite different from the word “subjection.” Its corresponding verb, from which it comes, is hupakouo, and means literally, “to listen to,” with the derived sense of “to obey.” It has always been translated “obey” in the New Testament excepting at one place, Acts 12:13, where Rhoda comes “to listen to” Peter’s knocking. This word has been used nowhere in respect to the wife’s duty to her husband, with one safe exception, in an illustration. In 1 Peter 3:6 the Apostle points women to the example of Sarah, who “obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord,” or “Sir,” as the same is often translated (Matthew 13:27; John 12:21, etc.). So did Jacob call Esau “lord,” though it was God’s revealed will that Jacob should hold the place of superiority; and Aaron called Moses, his younger brother, “lord,” and Moses called the striving Egyptians “lords” (Genesis 33:8,14; Exodus 32:22; Acts 7:26). There was a rabbinical saying which Peter may have known and quoted, here: “The wife of Abraham reverenced him and called him lord.” It is to be noted that Peter’s admonition is “subjection;” his illustration is subjection carried to the point of obedience. When giving a pattern for incitement we are very apt to take an extreme case, “Be unworldly; as Francis of Assisi, a wealthy young man, who renounced all his inheritance, and lived on alms.” By these words the spirit of Francis is the point urged, not the literal copying of his acts. So with Peter’s words here. And that spirit becomes all Christians alike. “In honor preferring one another.”
301. As far as Abraham and Sarah are concerned, we are left in no doubt as to this relation of obedience and respect being mutual and reciprocal; God commanded Abraham to call Sarah by the very respectful name of “Princess,” Genesis 17:15; and the strongest passage in the Bible seeming to enjoin obedience, as between husband and wife, is at Genesis 21:12, “And God said unto Abraham. . . . in all that Sarah saith unto thee, obey her voice.” The Hebrew verb used here, translated into the English, “hearken unto,” is the same word translated “obey” at Genesis 22:18. It means “to listen to,” as does the Greek word “to obey,” but it has been translated “obey” in 89 places in the Old Testament, and carries the sense “obey” as proved by the context, in scores of other places, just as it does in this passage, concerning which there is no doubt that Abraham was to obey in what Sarah told him to do,–”Cast out the bondwoman and her child.”
302. The question naturally is asked: “But in the unique relation existing within the marriage bond, is not the wife bound to unquestioning obedience?” We do not so read the Bible. Turn to Leviticus 20:18, where exists a commandment to prevent unhygienic conduct within the marriage relation. There is no question here but that God held both man and woman equally responsible for trampling upon this hygienic law; and this could not have been the case had the wife been bound to unquestioning obedience to her husband in this matter. In both the Greek and the Catholic Church, we understand that in the marriage service the conditions laid upon the bride and bridegroom are identical. In the United States the word “obey” is seldom used in the marriage ceremony. If, under the Mosaic law, the obligations and responsibilities of the matrimonial relation were identical for man and woman, as the passage cited from Leviticus seems to prove, it is exceedingly difficult to believe that the Gospel message is meant to place women on a lower plane of moral responsibility than the Mosaic law did. (See more on this subject in paragraphs 110, 111.)
303. To sum up: It seems clear that Jesus Christ MEANT WHAT HE SAID in the words, “No one CAN serve two masters.” It amounts to an impossibility, and God never demands the impossible. Mutual respect, honor, humility, meekness, forbearance, and the yielding of one’s preferences, are incumbent upon all believers, to be exercised under all circumstances short of making allegiance with man such as one owes to God only. Sarah made a greater declaration than her limited intelligence in that age could have fully grasped, but God ordered Abraham to act in accordance with its inexorable law: “The SON of the bondwoman shall not inherit with the son of the free woman.” Let us pass over the circumstances that led to that decision in the Household of Faith,–and an utterance on Sarah’s part that has been misunderstood and misjudged, but we have not space to enter into it now,–and learn the lesson of the words themselves. God establishes no covenant relations with one in bondage. Moses words to Pharaoh knew no variation: “Thus saith the Lord, Let my people go, that they may SERVE ME.” They could not BOTH serve the Egyptians as bondsmen, and God. “No one CAN serve two masters.” God would not take them into full covenant relations with Himself until they were FREE. It is so today. Thousands of Christians, held in bondage by human companions, are crying out for a clearer realization of covenant relations with God, and God’s demand is ever the same: “Let my people go, that they may serve me.” God may remember His covenant with our fathers, but nevertheless we are NEVER in full covenant relations with Him until FREE. And this applies to women as well as men. The freedom or bondage of the mother, moreover, both Sarah and St. Paul declare, shall determine the status of the son. No son of a bondwoman, because of her spirit in him, can, as such, enter into full covenant relations with God. Fathers of sons, who hold their wives in sensual bondage, doom those sons to a personal sensual bondage. It is God’s own law then, that one sex cannot get free and the other sex remain in bondage. It is impossible to understand the enormous extent to which all Christendom has been morally crippled in its progress by the attempt to keep the female sex in bondage, especially to the husband’s sensuality.
304. Let us remind ourselves again that when the women of apostolic times, who labored with Paul in the Gospel, either listened to, read, or taught others from the text, Genesis 3:16, they must have understood and taught it as meaning, “Thou art turning away to thy husband, and he will rule over thee,”–for this is the reading of the Septuagint version, which they universally used, and this is the way early Church Fathers invariably quote the verse. These women would not have read, “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” Now without this verse, translated as we have it, and used as an index to Paul’s meaning when he talks on the “woman question,” we may well inquire how these women would have interpreted his words. What sense would Paul’s language about women have conveyed to women who had not been taught “the curse of Eve?” To women who never knew that Genesis taught (?) that God subordinated woman to man at the time of the Fall? To women who had never heard that the Bible taught the wife to obey the husband, because Eve brought sin into the world? Or to a woman who had never heard that, according to the Bible, her “desire” must be under her husband’s control? Such was the condition of mind of the Gentile women, at least, who heard Paul’s letters read. They knew that their heathen religions taught that woman was her husband’s subordinate. But they did not have this teaching from Genesis 3:16, and if not from there, then they found it nowhere in the Old Testament. How differently they must, therefore, have construed Paul’s language!
305. In place of such teachings as this about woman’s “desire,” they would have, rather, the recently uttered sayings of our Lord, standing out to their minds with startling clearness, because so unlike their Gentile teachings: “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them: and they that exercise authority over them are called benefactors, But ye shall not be so.” They were not to look upon this exercise of authority as a benevolent thing, but quite the contrary. “No one can serve two masters,” then how could a woman “serve” her husband and her God? And how could her husband be a “benefactor” to her, while exercising authority over her? “Be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ . . . Neither be ye called Masters: for one is your Master, even Christ. But he that is the greatest among you shall be your servant. And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased.” What a totally different sense have such words as these! And these are the teachings which would be much in the mind and thought of those early Christians, because so recently uttered by their Divine Master.
I remember being no older than ten and my mother telling a friend and me, “The Bible says Sarah called her husband her master and we should be like her.” Yet, a closer look at 1 Pet. 3 reveals something very different. I can find only three times in the OT where Sarah “obeys” Abraham: Gen. 12:13, 18:6 and 20:13.
18:6 is when Abraham tells Sarah to prepare a lamb for the three visitors. This passage I find irrelivant.
However, the first and last passages are the same situation with the same response. But what I find most interesting is Abraham’s actions towards Sarah. 12:13 says “PLEASE say you are my sister, that it may be well with me for your sake, and that I may live because of you.”
20:13 “And it came to pass, when God caused me to wander from my father’s house, that I said to her, ‘this is YOUR KINDNESS that you should do for me, in every place, wherever we go, say of me, ‘he is my brother.’”
Abraham does not speak as if he considers it Sarah’s duty to obey him. 1 Pet. 3 speaks of trusting God in uncertain times. “For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being supportive of their own husbands.” Moreover, Sarah scolded Abraham when Hagar mistreated her and later ordered him to throw her out, Rebekah tricked Isaac into blessing Jacob and Rachel snapped at Jacob to give her a son. One may argue the right and wrong of these actions, but the fact remains if one is looking for quiet, blind submission the “holy women” of the OT is not it.
TD, you pointed out three instances where Sara obeyed Abraham, and three instances where Abraham obeyed Sara, But there’s more..’ and its been right there in front of us all along
“even as Sara obeyed Abraham calling him lord” 1 Pet 3
AND
Abraham obeyed Sara calling her ruler
GOD HIMSELF changed her name from Sarai (contentious) to Sarah (ruler)… which means that every time Abraham addressed his wife by name, he called her “ruler” and he would have been very much aware of that. (so its only fair that she addressed him as lord- like a queen calling her husband king and vice versa)
Right.
What is a ‘princess’?
One has to get past our disney fairy tale image to “get” the impact of her GOD given name. One also has to remember that a name- in Hebrew culture- was understood to identify truth about a person.from Net Bible Dictionary-
I really love that she goes from “contentious” to a place of having authority and being heard in her marriage. Contrary to all the finger wagging among Christians about the “evils” of contentious women, I think that a woman who is married to a man with a “Hagar” in his life which is disrupting the marriage- whether his Hagar(mistress) be a woman, porn, work, an addiction of some sort (substance addiction, sports, TV, etc…).- he may very well find himself married to a contentious wife- just like Sarai with Abram- unless and until he evicts the mistress from his life and his heart is no longer divided
see also “Are YOU ‘a contentious wife’?”
Charis, excellent point about Abraham addressing Sarah as “Ruler” everytime he called her name!!! I’m going to use that when discussing this topic with others.
Thank you also for bringing up the point that the word princess meant authority and responsibility. I don’t even like using the word princess because I feel it conjures an image of the exact opposite.
[...] MUST WOMEN OBEY? [...]
Does god mean for a women to be vice president? I do not believe so. How is she obeying her husband and god by such work, especially as she has 5 children at home the youngest being just 4 MONTHS old. How is being on the campaign trail, being a nuturing and loving mother?
Well, this isn’t a political blog, and I am not sure of God’s will in this? Personally, I was excited by the nomination because of what I have read of Sarah Palin’s character. She could be a very high profile charismatic, evangelical, pro-life, Christian.
A wife is never commanded to “obey” her husband. She is to submit which is a different word than “obey”. (see “Obey?”- click here)
I would be very surprised if Gov Palin is doing this without her husband’s complete support and encouragement. I do think that a husband being on board with his wife’s full use of her gifts and talents is essential for her to fulfill a calling such as this. The Bible says that a wife is her husband’s glory and her crown and I think that her success would reflect very favorably upon the caliber of man to whom she is married (ie as VP of the US, she will be quite a glory and crown to him
)
As to your question about 5 children including a newborn, would you ask the same question if it was a father of 5 who was going to be on a grueling campaign trail? I would. If God has called her to this then HE will take care of the details…
If Sarah Palin were not running for VP, she would, I’m sure, be able to give more attention to her 4 month old baby instead of sharing so much responsiblity with her husband. But then, no one would have ever heard of her and 90% of down syndrome babies would still be aborted (I can’t confirm that stat but I certainly don’t doubt it). But now, people will see a woman who chose to have a down syndrome child AND rose up to be Vice President. The stigma that special needs children will destroy your life is shattered forever. I’m expecting this to cut back drastically in the number of down syndrome abortions.
Now that McCain’s chosen her and I hear so many people saying she should be at home with her family, I think, “what a tragedy it would be for this gifted, spirited woman of God to stay home when America needs her on the front lines.”
Very good point, TD. Personally, the nomination stirred up lots of emotion because I have never in my life felt so represented by a politician. She understands mothering numerous children and she values their lives intensely and unconditionally from the moment of conception. I have great respect for that. She is inspirational! I wish I had lived up to such a standard and I’m glad God has elevated a woman who has.
Charis, you are an inspirational woman too. It sounds like you don’t realize that. It takes a very brave person to reject things their family members believe strongly in and take a stand against them. I think it must take an especially brave woman to take such a stance when her husband is against them.
You can go as high as you can dream because God is the center of your dreams.
Thanks for your encouragement, TD.
Your words touched my heart.
Thankyou so much for this exegesis.
I came from a religious cult where the whole issue of Sarah calling Abraham lord became a doctrine of abuse. The men who ran the cult called it the ‘Gospel of Headship’. People have committed suicide because of the horrible destruction of marriages. The men from this cult are misogynists of the first order and barely disguise their disdain and marginalisation of women. No, I am not a feminist, but I certainly understand how women have been downtrodden via religious values over the centuries.
Your explanation of these verses makes everything so much clearer to me. I don’t have to throw out OT scripture, I can now read and believe that God is not a God of hate but a God of love and compassion. He does not ask the impossible of us. It’s just been the interpretation and teaching all this time which has caused me and many women I know to be treated with utter disregard.
This sounds so sane and balanced when I read it, thankyou for your clarity and common sense. It has given me a real encouragement today. I will make sure I direct others to this, I am sure it will help them too.
Hi Meg,
Welcome!
I can’t take credit for the material, which is by Katherine Bushnell, but I agree with you entirely about its impact. Her words- written some 100 years ago- have ministered much healing to me too. May the Lord continue to minister His healing balm to your wounded heart! You are beloved and precious to HIM. Here is another resource you might like. Click the link below then on the FLL page, click on “Poster”:
Dear Meg…. a Letter from your Heavenly Father (composed of Scriptures)
All the weman of the world will forever try to find a way to be the head of the house hold. The good Lord God created woman to be a help mate not the leader of the home. Why is that so hard to understand, or is it not wanting to be understood and or ignored.
Hi Mike,
Clearly, you desire to respect the good Lord and be sure to live in conformity to His Word! I have the utmost respect for that!
Which is precisely why I so appreciated this message by David Instone Brewer and I think you would appreciate this too, Mike:
Submission and Service